mothers....

first i should mention that my mother and i have no relationship at all!!!!

I believe motherhood is a choice, not a requirement just because you are female.

As a female myself i have that choice...for the longest time i had no desire to have children, now after meeting and marring the love of my life i realize that yes i do want a child, yes a child not plural....i would love to adopted if everything fits of course!! As of right now i am not at a point where i feel i would be the mother i hope to be.....i have too much to do not that all mothers dont but i want at this point to deicate myself to my husband and horses!!!

Here is what brought all this about....

i go by my mother's store which, they are moving at this moment, to be supportive (i was raise in a guilt stricken hell where everything you did wrong was held over ones head till the end of time, hence the reason that all though i have no want to be around her at all i still feel the need to check on her every once in a while and/or even have a relationship with her). i have my niece with me actually my cousins little girl but my niece because tressa is like a sister not a cousin, any way...earlier this morning, layla had wrote on something she wasnt suppose to when she was at the store with her mom...karen that would be my mother took layla to the back and began lecturing her on how she wasnt allowed to write on things. fine right? no!!!!
karen is very harsh and the best of guilt trip givers...

my grandmother told me what had happen with layla and completely blew it out of portion, i go back to where karen had seclude herself and layla to ease drop and if need be defend her, mine you layla is a very lite hearted 6 yo and very well behaved!!! i didnt like what i was hearing and step in the room...upon entry was told they were talking by karen, i asked karen to try and make the talk fit the crime...at this time i was told to leave, seeing how layla was with me i asked layla to come with me telling karen layla would not write on anything else and i left.

side note i do think that if you have your child some where other than home they should follow the rules of the place, how else will they understand later that different place have different rules and it is mannerly to follow the rules of where ever they are.

of course i call tressa first thing to tell her, only to find out that layla had all ready been talk to about it by tressa and had been scolded by my grandmother so harshly that she cried.

seriously how much punishment and talking to does a 6 yo need for something she has never done wrong before and at one time was even given the cards she was writing on by karen to draw on...layla did this thinking that it was ok because she was given old cards without explanation of what they were and why she could draw on the old ones but not the new ones...

a prime example of someone with no motherly instincts.

children do not think like adults!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! teenagers do not think like adults!!!!!!!!!!!

THE START TO A NEW BEGNING

SO GUESS WHAT I HAVE INTERNET AT MY HOUSE!!!!!!! YEAH VERY HAPPY!!!

THIS MEANS I CAN TALK TO JEN MORE VIA INTERNET.....

I GAVE A LESSON THIS MORNING AT THE RIPE O'TIME OF 9AM NOT MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY...IT WENT WELL SHE IS ONE OF THE LESSON STUDENTS JEN HAD... HAD A NICE LITTLE HORSE. DID REALLY WELL THIS MORNING.
SO I WAS GOING TO RIDE THIS MORNING AND BE DONE BUT THEN THE EMBARQ PHONE GUY SHOWED UP MINE YOU I ALREADY CANCELED SERVICE WITH THEM TWICE BUT MEMOS AND LETTING PEOPLE KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITHIN THE COMPANY IS NOT A COMPANY POLICY.....I LET THE GUY SET UP SERVICE FOR ME...WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES....

PARIS HAS BEEN OFF FOR A MONTH NOW AND I AM TAKING HER TO THE VET AND GETTING HER CHECKED AND FIXED UP IF NEED BE...AS HIGH MAINTENCCE AS SHE IS IT WILL PROBLILY COST AN ARM AND LEG...THEN IM GOING TO TURN HER BACK OUT TILL AFTER I GET BACK FROM VACATION...AFTER WARDS I WILL HAVE HER TEETH DONE AGAIN, ADJUSTED AND START LEGGING HER UP. MY PLAN IS TO RUN HER AT STEPHENVILLE THE FIRST WEEKEND AUG.

POPI IS A SPEED FREAK OR SOMETHING...I RODE HIM THIS MORNING WHEN I GAVE MY LESSON BUT AGAIN THE PHONE GUY SHOWED UP, ILL RIDE HIM AGAIN TONIGHT JUST TO KEED HIM IN SHAPE...THANKS FOR ONE THAT DOESNT NEED TO BE WORKED.

PONCHO IS CURRENTLY WALKING AROUND THE PASTURE WITH A HALTER AND LEAD AND POLO WRAPS AND BELL BOOTS ON BECAUSE HE WONT LET ME CATCH HIM....HE WAS SADDLED THEN I LET MY LESSON GIRL TRY MY TREELESS SADDLE AND HE JUST SLITHER OFF NOT TO BE FOUND( HE HIDES IN THE WOODS ) SO I AM LEAVING HIM TILL LATER TO RIDE. ATLEAST HE WONT PULL SOMETHING OR CLIP HIMSELF WHILE GRAZING!!!

ARMANI IS AN EVIL LITTLE HELL SPAWN!!!!!!!!!!

GUCCI IS TO BLAME.

RUBY IS STILL FAT.

DOODLES HAS TO HAVE AN ABORTION BECAUSE SHE IS TO YOUNG TO BE A MOTHER.

TORCH IS THE SWEETEST BIG BOY ON THE PLACE, EVEN IF HE HAS NO IDEA WHERE HIS FEET ARE.

DYLAN AND DKNY WELL I HAVENT EVEN CHECKED ON THEM IN LIKE A WK SO WHO KNOWS.

CAMO IS AT MARCUS'S HOUSE GETTING BROKE, HE COMES HOME THIS WEEK.

OKAY THATS ENOUGH IM GOING TO BARREL HORSE WORLD TO LOOK AT SALE HORSES!!!!

update for jen

okay, so i have really bad internet service which forces me to use my inlaws which has about a million blocks on it, so i cant get here or to myspace....or my mother's whom i do not enjoy being around so thats an even bigger NO!!

1. brandon has giving me my engagement ring and a wedding ring we got married may 5. and celebrated with zach and jen.

2. stewie is my little baby....he sleeps most of the day and snuggles really good, making it very hard for me to get out of bed... sidenote we got another puppy...his name is bloomer a full size aussie with blue eyes....he is a fat little ball of fur...we also have 4 cats not just one any more....kisses, a black female with green eyes....boston, a white male with really blue eyes, he is bloomers best friend....and hugs, a grey female with blue eyes. Our house is crazy.

3. i got popi back.......enough said!!

4. since i got stewie i dont want kids any more which is great because also in that time i have been around some brats and i want to beat them repetedly.

5. my dislike for my best friends ex husband grows more and more everyday....if he was my ex i would have already killed him and feed him to the hogs....

6. married life is great even if i have only seen him about 5 days in the last 6 weeks....

blog later.....